In preparation for an interview for Antwerp Pride Magazine of Dutch author Ype Driessen (49), I read his first text-only novel ‘Vanilla‘. Driessen is known for his photo comics (Fotostrips.nl) and his photographic novel ‘The Last Gay Man On Earth‘.
The official blurb says: “After a painful breakup, the somewhat neurotic Jip moves with his two best friends to – where else? – Amsterdam. According to his friends, Jip can start enjoying life there. However, when it comes to sex, he has never experienced anything exciting. He is what they call: vanilla.”
“Jip himself wants a steady relationship as soon as possible; or even better, to go back to his ex. But when he leaves a party one evening feeling gloomy and drunk, he meets a mysterious figure who makes him a seductive offer: if Jip goes on twelve meaningless sex dates, he will be relieved of his heartbreak.”
“What follows is a journey of discovery along the fringes of the gay dating world: from car dates to group sex, and from roleplay to deep conversations about intimacy. During his series of absurd, horny, and sometimes tragic dates, Jip discovers who he is and what he truly wants. ‘Vanilla’ is a story about a boy who loses everything to find himself.”
Themes
‘Vanilla’ tackles several themes gay men are or can be familiar with. Next to the obvious themes of the big break-up and sexual self-discovery, Jip has to emancipate himself from external conventions and expectations.
For instance, it’s more than okay to be single. Why do single people have to justify them being single, while couple aren’t pressured to justify their relationship?
Also, when one becomes a serial sex dater, one has to endure slut shaming. First Jip is accused to be too vanilla and not adventurous enough, but when he goes on many sex dates, he’s exaggerating. It’s never good.
Another theme is friendship and how to manage friendship and friend’s image or typecasting. Often, one has a role or is put in a box with a set of predictable and expected behaviours. When one changes, that can lead to tensions.
And, of course, there are a loads of sex scenes, the struggle with hook-up app Grindr – which can be such a rabbit hole – and chemsex (drugs-infused sex). Linked to that, is the exploration of the meaning of sex: is sex meaningful or meaningless? Does that say anything about sex?
Not a self-help book
‘Vanilla’ is not a self-help book, it’s not a treatise on sexual behaviour of men who have sex with men (MSM). It’s a fun, well written novel which will make you think of your prejudices.
I found ‘Vanilla’ refreshing for daring to question the societal precedence of the romantic relationship. As a single gay man, I can only appreciate Ype Driessen championing a broader horizon then the one romantic relationship as ultimate life goal.
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