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Ype Driessen’s ‘Vanilla’ explores sex, friendship and breaking free from romantic expectations

by Timothy••2

2026 marks the nineteenth (19th) edition of Antwerp Pride. From Wednesday 5 to Sunday 9 August, Antwerp in Belgium will once again be taken over by rainbow vibes. Prides are a mix of celebration – parties – and activism and advocacy. For the 2026 edition, the organising committee focuses on fearing less and being fearless.

Would ‘Heated Rivalry‘ have been as successful if Illya and Shane had not ended up as a couple? In a context where people long for homoromantic stories with a happy ending, it takes some courage – or rather fearlessness – to go against the zeitgeist. To question the ideal of the monogamous relationship. To question the ideal of the romantic relationship itself, whether with one or more people. Nikita Goossens does so with ‘Tijd om te bloeien‘ (‘Time to Bloom‘) and Ype Driessen with ‘Vanilla‘. Each in their own very distinct way.

Dutch photo-comic creator and author Ype Driessen is no stranger to telling personal stories, but his latest work marks a significant departure. Published earlier this year, ‘Vanilla’ is his first novel without illustrations, exploring sexual self-discovery, friendship and the many ways people navigate relationships within the gay community.

The novel follows Jip, who, after a painful break-up, moves to Amsterdam with his two best friends. While his friends believe the city will help him embrace life again, Jip is primarily interested in finding another stable relationship – or, ideally, getting back together with his ex-boyfriend.

Instead, a mysterious stranger offers him an unusual bargain: go on twelve supposedly meaningless sex dates and heartbreak will disappear. Whether those encounters truly prove meaningless becomes one of the novel’s central questions.

Sex as personal growth

For Driessen, the novel is less about sex itself than about the transformation it can bring.

“Sex is development. The transformation Jip undergoes is something many gay men experience, but in fast-forward. In real life, it can take much longer. And in real life too, you sometimes need a certain encouragement from outside to come out of your shell,” he tells Antwerp Pride Magazine.

Alongside Jip’s journey, the novel introduces characters with very different views on relationships. Office colleague Lieke is happily single and questions why single people are constantly expected to justify their lives when couples are not. Housemate Guus searches for lasting love, while Ramon presents himself as an expert on Amsterdam’s gay scene – although the novel gradually questions how much he really knows.

Looking beyond coming-out stories

Driessen began writing ‘Vanilla’ five years ago, before sexually explicit fiction, often referred to as “smut”, became increasingly mainstream.

Although recent books and series such as ‘Heated Rivalry’ have attracted large audiences, Driessen says they do not always reflect his own experiences of gay life. “The series gives you no insight into gay life. It remains fantasy, a fairy tale. And the sex is too clean.”

His own novel deliberately takes a different approach.

Luitingh-Sijthoff, which also publishes Driessen’s popular photo comics, encouraged him to write a novel without illustrations. The initial idea came while he was travelling to a date himself. “Just like Jip, my mind kept spinning. Is this the right address? The right doorbell? What will people think I am doing here?”

Despite the novel’s many intimate scenes, Driessen says those were not particularly difficult to write. “Throughout all my work, I use a direct style. I describe behaviours that gays find completely normal, but which are unfamiliar territory for the average heterosexual.”

He believes queer fiction often remains limited to coming-out stories or first relationships. “A lot of fiction remains stuck at the coming-out or the first boyfriend. But that is not enough for me.”

Is casual sex really meaningless?

The novel repeatedly questions what people mean when they describe casual encounters as “meaningless”.

Jip’s twelve dates deliberately echo the Twelve Labours of Hercules, while the mysterious Mefi resembles Mephistopheles, continually pushing him to reconsider his assumptions about intimacy. “What is ‘meaningless sex’ anyway? If that fleeting sex was what you wanted or needed at that moment, is it meaningless?”

Driessen compares it to dining out. “You can compare it to going out for dinner: if you do that once a year and it disappoints, it lingers for a long time. If you eat out every week, you dwell much less on the disappointment because next week you will have a new experience.”

Friendship under pressure

While sexuality forms an important part of the story, friendship is equally central.

The three housemates initially each fulfil a particular role within their friendship group. As Jip grows more comfortable with his identity, however, those dynamics begin to shift. “The three housemates each have a role within that friendship. But when Jip gradually embraces his gay identity more and more, he changes, and that creates tensions because he no longer fits the role he used to have.”

Driessen believes this reflects real life. “People do not like change.”

As Jip becomes increasingly confident, Ramon begins to feel left behind. “Ramon, the self-proclaimed scene expert, feels overtaken by Jip. He suffers from FOMO, and then a bit of slut-shaming starts to creep in.”

Grindr and changing gay culture

The dating app Grindr also plays a prominent role throughout the novel. Jip spends so much time using it that friends and colleagues become increasingly irritated.

Although Vanilla was only published this year, Driessen says its setting actually reflects Amsterdam about a decade ago. “Actually, ‘Vanilla’ takes place about ten years ago. Because nowadays Grindr is less friendly. How many people delete the app only to reinstall it shortly afterwards?”

Amsterdam itself provides the backdrop for the story, although some venues have been given fictional names. The well-known fetish Club Church, for example, becomes ‘Club Hell‘ in the novel.

Asked whether he still visits the real Club Church himself, Driessen laughs. “Haha, absolutely. I was there last Saturday.”

‘Vanilla’ is available through Fotostrips.nl and as an audiobook narrated by stage actor Eelco Smits.

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🇧🇪 Blogger, keen vexillologist, train conductor NMBS/SNCB, traveller, F1 follower, friend of Dorothy.

2 thoughts on “Ype Driessen’s ‘Vanilla’ explores sex, friendship and breaking free from romantic expectations”

  1. Pingback: ANTWERP PRIDE 2026 | Post-parade Love United Festival line-up, on Saturday 8 August at Cockerillkaai – Sidetrack

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